Louis - Learning to let go

People get caught up with things and get upset about it. I am no different. Since last year I found myself getting caught up with my races. I was angry, I was upset, I was confused, and I question why... a lot. It all started at the California Half Ironman. After the swim my back started to hurt so I did not have a good race. I wanted to write about it and my coach told me to just let it go. Then came Ironman Arizona with that wind on the bike. I finished, but I did not reach the goal that I like. Fast forward to January 2011 at Carlsbad Half Marathon, instead of finishing at 1:54 I crawl to the finish at 2:07.

In all honesty, it doesn’t really matter if I PR or not. But being me, I want to know what happen. I want things to be black and white. If there is an issue with my body, I want to resolve it so I can move on to try the same race next year or to move on to other races. But things are not always black and white. When I found an answer to a question, another question will appear. Next thing I know, I was checking weather to wear the prefect cloth, writing pace note on my arm, and not drink as much prior the race so I don’t have to pee while I race. I got so caught up to what if this happen and what if that happen, that’s all I think about. Before, during, and after the race… especially after the race.

Then I realized, all these questioning suck up all the fun I could of have, the very reason why I am doing all these events in the first place. I do something because I enjoy it, not because I want to question it. I didn’t do it to prove to the world that I can finish an Ironman in under a certain hour. I do it just because I can. I realized that sometime you just don’t get an answer, no matter how hard you think, or how hard you try. So what if I am not having a good day or I am just being confused sheep on course, I am just going to live the moment and enjoy the race (or whatever I am doing). I don’t have to PR every race, but I need to enjoy every race. As long as I give it all I got at every race, things will happen naturally (yes I omit the fact that I need to train too). Actually, I don’t know why I get upset with these silly thoughts to being with. I have a good job, I have my Louis’s humor, I am very active, and I have a lot of good friends. I should be graceful instead of worrying about all these silly things that got to my head.

I just need to enjoy the moment... like this monkey